Skout ‘Flirt, Friend, Chat’ – Internet Dating

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Ok what is the internet dating scene in India? How popular it is? How good is hooking up over the internet anyway? Let me know people!

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Couple of months ago M called up and told me to check out this new social networking app called “SKOUT”. I installed it from play store registered myself with all my “correct information” I even uploaded my photo, oblivious to the fact that it is a dating app. I thought it was something like Facebook or orkut. Internet dating, actually any sort of dating for me was an unexplored territory. So what the SKOUT does is according to your preference shows all the available people who are geographically closer.

As soon as I activated the app, all sorts of nasty messages started flooding in my inbox, only then I realized it was a dating app mostly filled with people desperate to get laid. I immediately wanted delete the app, but then it was my last month at the old job and I had a lot of time while away I decided to explore it, I deleted my pic, changed the information and replied to few people. I even made a solid friendship through that app, but I feel it was the rarest of rare exception. I deleted the app after few days.

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I do not advocate against internet dating. How one wants to get hooked is a personal choice. But what I feel is resorting to something like this in desperation to fill some kind of emotional void and depending only on it, trusting a completely unknown person is very very dangerous.

M still uses the app, even after she had a few nasty encounters. M just uses it to pass the time, ditches and blocks the people who pesters her. Why entertain someone, give false hopes if you are not interested in continuing the same. I feel that is ethically wrong, but then again to each to his own. I will never tell her what I feel. May be other people uses it for time pass too and I am one stupid moron stuck in time!

I do not know where this non sense is heading, my experience on Skout was fairly positive I did not make too many friendships or indulged too many people. I ignored all the nasty ones, had a good conversations with few, and even made a very good friend. I did get into some trouble but since this blog has no negativity policy let me leave it out from recording it here.

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I may not be a Pro, but if you want to try your luck in internet dating(I was clearly not looking to date anyone) here is my advice,

  • Even if you use a fake profile, be nice to people. Avoid unnecessary hatred
  • Do not indulge anyone for your time pass
  • Do not, I repeat do not trust anyone and give out the personal information
  • You can avoid nasty people by simply not replying or blocking them. Arguing with them is loosing your precious time and energy
  • I strongly advocate do not look for any sort of emotional assurance from the people you meet online, or anyone for that matter. If you cannot feel secured about yourself some random person you met on the internet can hardly do it. If emotional assurance is what you are looking for try taking a holiday alone, introspect, strengthen yourself, any sort of dating will not help you

Ciao People!

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Hospitals

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Hospitals make me laugh.

In the last 4 years I have spent at least 1/4th of my time in hospitals. It started when grandpa fell down due to his BP shot up and resulted in heavy internal bleeding in the brain and a hemorrhage in 2010. He was in hospital for 60 days and at home for 7 days and then left us. At that time I had just finished my graduation and was at home looking for a Job. My brother (first cousin) had just moved to Hyderabad for his studies so it was only me and my aunt who had to take care of grandpa.

The first few weeks grandpa was in ICU so not much a care taker had to do, other than waiting anxiously at the ICU waiting lounge. I used to be at hospital at day time, aunt used to be at night. So every day morning 7.00 AM to 9.00 PM I used to wait at the ICU waiting lounge. It is not a good place to be at, day and night you see deaths. You make friends with fellow people waiting with you for their loved ones.  At that time I was close to one particular lady, her husband was in the ICU due to a kidney ailment. We were waiting together for 15 days. One night I told her bye and that I will see her in the morning. But the next day she wasn’t there, her husband had died the previous night. It was so hurtful even though I had not seen the man himself. I wish I was there at the time. There was nothing I could do, but I just wanted to be there for, hold her when she got the news.

I don’t how or why, I am strangely wise and strong at difficult times. Or I don’t know if I have an inability to emote or show my real grief. I will not breakdown, cry at times like this. I will only think about the course of action at the moment. This is behavior is very useful most of the times. When Grandpa was hospitalized for the first time, I did not shed a single tear instead I was seen running up and down the hospital stairs filling forms, talking to doctors, getting the tests done, signing NOC’s, while the other members of the family took their time coping with shock and crying it out. Its not that I don cry at all, small things like missing my fav show, no call from appu, no text from my BFF, things not turning out like the way I like makes me bawl like a toddler.  But at times of real emergencies, deaths, ailments I am composed and wise. I dont know where this post is heading let me get back to the topic. Grandpa never came out of the coma. After 60 days there was nothing much doctors could do. All grandpa was needed was basic life support and nursing care which we could provide at home. Bringing grandpa home was another huge and not so pleasant experience. Grandpa left us all after 7 days at home. I will write a separate post on it. So I was at the hospital for two months.

Just a month after grandpa’s demise, Appu’s dad was hospitalized for his heart disease and he had to undergo angioplasty. I was again at the hospital for two weeks with Appu.

Then I got a job, life became busy thankfully visits to hospitals reduced and but then came the biggest shock of my life. I have told you earlier I don’t have a big social circle. My social circle is only 1 person my BFF, M. M was my classmate in engineering we just gelled from the first day I met her and are together even to this day. M and I are inseparable souls, in 2011 M was diagnosed with rare kidney condition reterocaval ureter  and had undergo a major surgery. Again few weeks in hospital.

The same year Mom got hospitalized for a urinary tract infection, brother got hospitalized for viral fever, 2 cousins were hospitalized for dengue fever at different times.

In 2012 everyone were falling sick, Mom, BFF, brother, I myself was hospitalized once.

2013 was worse, In april Appu got his fingers crushed while playing tug of war!!! Stupid guy wrapped the rope around his fingers so when the opponent team pulled the rope, his fingers were crushed,  the bones turned to powder, so he had to undergo surgery and they had inserted metal rods into his fingers and they were poking out. Even with all that pain he was trying to cheer me up telling “Look chinnu, you have your own wolverine!!!”. Again in  BFF’s health was deteriorating, She was hospitalized every other month. Aunt got hospitalized two times. Brother was hospitalized for dengue. I was hospitalized two times. I was diagnosed with thyroid and I am still 24. M’s sister’s pregnancy.

So when I tell in past 4 years I spent 1/4th of my life in Hospitals I’m not exaggerating. Yesterday I was to accompany M to her visit to urologist. This is the same hospital where grandpa was admitted the first time. I went there after 3 years, every thing about that place made me uneasy, it brought back unpleasant memories. I was there for whole of two hours. And the whole time I was cracking stupid jokes and making M laugh. But the whole time I was disturbed. The more it disturbed the more funny I became. I turned everything and everyone into a joke, the corridors, the stairs, the pungent smell of medicine, the receptionists, the doctor, other patients, we laughed on everything. Such laughter only comes when you are insanely high on alcohol, but I was not. It was weird how one emotion inside was reflecting a different emotion outside. All I was feeling was intense pain with the memories, with M’s almost incurable ailment, with my own helplessness. But all I did was laugh.

Like I said, Hospitals make me laugh!!!

Does this happen to you?

Busy is good

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Hello,

Life is going at full speed. I am not complaining. I think I work my best when my limits are stretched.

I am not a creative person, I am not a great cook or enjoy cooking. I don’t keep the house sparkling clean. I don’t exercise or go for a run. I don’t have a big social circle. The small group of friends I have does not require much of my time. Appu*(Boyfriend/fiancee) works in a different city so he also doesn’t need much of my time. Even though I stay with Aunt she is out of country on work assignments most of the times. So I stay alone most of the times.

So when I have a few hours a day to myself, I just don’t move my ass from the couch and eyes from TV.

But the past few days have been different. I am leaving my current job and joining another company in March. Before I move to the new company full time I will have to set up few processes and hire and set up a small team. So 4 days a week I go there in the evening. As I am working for Asian markets my work timings in the current job is 6.30 AM to 3.30 PM. After that I go to the new company and work there from 4.30 PM to 8.30 PM. I get home by 9.30 – 10.00PM. So my day starts at 5.00 AM and ends at 11.00 PM. This will go on for another month.

Everyone around me is complaining that I am mad to work these many hours and that I am spoiling my health, I should negotiate with either of the companies and reduce the working hours. But honestly I am loving it. I love that I am not wasting my time in front of TV or lazing around on the couch. I have big expectations on the new job and just love spending time on planning and setting up new things. I am very happy that I will be leaving the current company. I will be leaving behind a lot of negativity and a manager with the brain size of a sparrow. During the commute time I get to catch up with all my friends and family. Calling Mom and Appu are regular now.

Also I am happy because I have a valid excuse for not doing the laundry/cleaning the fridge/dusting the house/cooking and eating. I just have to tell them I have been very busy and make a puppy face 🙂 

But to my surprise in this busy schedule I am finding to do laundry once in 3 days, fold my clothes, wear matching jewellery to work, keep the kitchen and the sink clean, eat at regular intervals, and even find time to read blogs and post myself. Weird right! May be I am just wired this way. I work efficiently under pressure. Give me lots of time and I will turn into a lazy ass. So people for me busy is good.

Ciao People.

*thats what we call each other with. I know cheesy but that’s what happens when you meet your guy when you are 17 years old. Teenage cheesy names stay 🙂

 

About the blog

Guys, first of all let me welcome you to my blog. In case you accidentally stumbled upon this blog, thank you for visiting.

Today I am 25 years 5 months 5 days old. I have had a weird, not always good and also not always bad, fulfilling yet wanting for more kind of a life till now. I have had few failed attempts of blogging before, but due to my trait of not sticking to anything, I abandoned them. I wanted to re-start one of them but I could no longer to relate to the titles or the contents I have written there.

Since I am planning to bring my hay-wired life back on track, I am starting this new blog. I made a promise to myself that I am going to stick to this blog till-death-do-us-apart.

Lets see if I keep the promise.

Fingers Crossed.

Love —Stories

7 years ago, the 17 year old me had a crush on a handsome 17 year old (2 months younger to me).

We used to speak for hours on the telephone for 2 weeks, one day out of the blue he proposed.

I was shy+immature+scared+some more confusing feelings I rejected the guy. I know I am stupid I was falling head over heels for this guy but still I rejected him.

Why because he had flunked his 12th and was sitting at home doing nothing. I told him“How would I ever introduce you to my parents if you have not studied“. Yes those were the exact words used by me.

Now when I look back what made me say that? think that? Why I never thought it could be a passing romance???? why did i start relating his proposal to marriage, I had even started thinking about kids+cars+home loans etc… All this when I was 17!!!!

Was it my fault??? partially yes but this is how the society fucks up with our heads???

Even immature teenager thinks  about status+money+caste+house+cars before answering a 17 years old handsome crush’s proposal.

There was a sweet romance budding in my workplace. The girl and the boy were of same caste, the boy owned a house, and he is a gentleman as I know. The girl is also sweet and they would make a perfect match. As both of them are from the same caste, similar family background we all assumed there would be no issues from the families.

But the girls father rejected the alliance. Why you ask? Because both work in the same firm so if something happens to the firm both will loose their jobs together and hence cannot support the family that’s why??

The girl cries endlessly she does not know how to convince her father. The boy is dull and does not speak to anyone.

I am sad. I am angry. I know it is genuine to think about security of one’s daughter, but this is stupid.

I also dont know how to convince thier parents????

Do you know??

Love,

Ms. Lipstick

PS: I am still with my 17 year old crush 🙂 he is still studying, while I am working. He still makes me fall head over heels. Yes I accepted his proposal, ignoring the non sense going on in my head.

My first time

Hmmm I am from a small town, my parents are liberal+conservative+cool+getting-on-nerves types. I have a kiddo brother. I am their fat+intelligent+cute+responsible+nuts+independent+proud daughter 🙂

Really you wont  believe how I was 8 years ago. I would oil my hair every day I mean every day, waxing meant only candles, I had no idea what threading was I had never seen a beauty parlor expect summi aunty’s veranda+one black chair+one flower vase+some scissors+ few creams beauty parlor.

Forget sex even looking at boys was a sin for me. I was 17 and through a friend I met this guy… It was like straight out of  a sophie kinsella novel.. He swept me off my feet. That moment still gives me goosebumps. Ok I will not bore you with details of how he proposed I accepted then he failed me and i chucked him and he changed since then we are in loooove for ever after details.

But these things happened I guess happens in every relationship some details might change but still the same story. So coming back what I wanted to talk about My first time. So initial 1 year of our relationship we were so dumb (read innocent) we only talked and hugged and kissed (first kiss was just beautiful will tell you some other time) the thought that it cloud lead to some thing else did not even occur to us. 

Hmmm I wrote and deleted many paragraphs what ever I wrote sounded like porn. Seriously!!! do you get it I dont know how write about the first time with out making it sound like porn 😦

Ok on our first time were clueless on how to go about, he knew a bit as he had seen porn before when he told me I was horrified I mean I knew how it happens I had read it in my science texts but the idea of actually doing it freaked me out. And I was so shy about everything

After fooling around for two hours in vain we slept. That was the best sleep I ever had, something happened when we woke up from the sleep and we were like in some auto pilot mode. It happened!!! we did it!!! no fooling around, no bumping the heads, no weird postures but it happened. I cant say It wasn’t painful but it was equally beautiful.

What ever happens I can never forget my first time.

How was yours like?

Love,

Ms. Lipstick